THE PROPAGANDA HOUR WITH TIM FLITZER
Good evening fellow Americans. Everything we will report and discuss tonight has had the prior approval of the appropriate agency of the U.S. Government, so you can be assured that it is accurate and we in this nation have a free press.
Now to the news.
First, we report that there is absolutely no border crisis in America. The undocumented workers who cross the southern border are people looking for honest work and an opportunity to improve their lot in life. There are absolutely no terrorists among them, and the bankruptcy of hospitals in the border areas of the US have been caused by administrative errors in monetary management. Repeat: there is absolutely NO border crisis in America, and undocumented workers are not involved in America's soaring crime rates. All citizens can feel safe and secure because nothing in America has changed.
Contrary to rumors widely circulating the internet as a result of the efforts of right wing radicals and other extremist groups, there are no threats to American citizens from foreign troops being stationed at US military bases in the US. Those troops are here for military training and consist solely of forces from our allies and in support of America's effort to expand democracy around the globe. Also contrary to the radical right wing groups circulating rumors, the American government has no intention of becoming an imperial power. Our government is abiding by the Constitutution and the Supreme Court interpretations of its provisions.
The Federal Emergency Management Administration has announced that more urban exercises will be conducted in major cities around the US to ensure our preparedness against another terrorist attack, which the Ministry ... excuse me ... Department of Homeland Security has assured us will take place. FEMA and Homeland Security assure all Americans that these armed military personnel represent no threat to the life or liberty of any American citizen, these are merely exercises for preparedness.
The present administration assures all Americans that outsourcing of jobs has had no adverse effect on the US economy. Quite the opposite, the outsourcing of jobs to Southeast Asian and South American nations has improved the US economy by moving jobs overseas that were burdensome to American companies seeking to return to a position of profitability. Our Secretary of State is presently looking to El Al Israel Airlines to run the bankrupt American air carriers and return them to profitability, but so far the only word from Israel has been ... excuse me, there has been no official word from Israel's government.
Those are tonight's headlines, fellow comrad..... fellow Americans. Feel safe and secure in the protective care of your government, they're here to serve YOU.
I'll be back after this break.
Good evening again, fellow Americans.
Social Security has taken center stage in Washington again in anticipation of the bankruptcy of the system when 78 million new recipients from the "baby boomer" age are added to the dole ... excuse me, insurance program. There's no doubt that Social Security has to be restructured to prevent the complete dissolution of the system. Certain right wing radicals have accused the government of scooping up Social Security funds to support war ... well, defense efforts overseas, but this has no impact on Social Security, which is a lockbox trust fund. The government simply did not calculate the number of individuals who would live too long ... that is, outlive the projected lifespan at the time Social Security benefits were calculated. It is now estimated that the normal retirement age will have to range somewhere around 75 or 80 unless a way is found to reduce the number of persons on this entitlement. Plans are being discussed with certain groups from Florida as to how to do appropriate population planning and a written report will soon be forthcoming.
Recent devastation of forest lands by lightning-caused forest fires has resulted in a move by certain groups to designate these as "heritage lands" under United Nations control. While the impact on the logging industry and the availability of wood products might product a short-term lack of paper products, prices will be kept under control by the government until imports from South America and the Pacific Islands begin flowing into America.
On the home scene, the fifteenth rampage with guns by a teenager in American public schools has prompted immediate action by Congress to declare all privately owned guns illegal. This issue, a very hot topic among right wing extremists and other "second amendment" radicals has resulted in emergency legislation declaring it a crime to object to government action designed to protect the people. Otherwise, free speech remains unabriged and we still have a constitutional government.
Nothing in America has changed except for the betterment of the people.
And that's our report for tonight, folks, this is your friendly government-approved anchorman, Tim Flitzer, with all the news Americans need to know.
Goodnight to you all.
Note: this is the kind of tripe Americans are swallowing daily from major news media, which is why they sit on their arses and do nothing in a nation that is rapidly stealing the freedom of the people in exchange for a promise of security. To those who believe there is security in jail, this type of news will be appealing. To those who bother thinking and investigating their news sources, this kind of government propaganda is putrid.
Many of us who are over 65 never thought we would see a controlled press in America. We have it now. We have more government control than we ever dreamed of in the mid 20th century, and the press has played a major role in furthering the agenda of the globalists. When the tanks are in the streets, the news will justify it as being for our safety and security, in exchange for more, for all, of our liberties. And major media will be believed by Americans who have or take no time to check the facts.
Published originally at EtherZone.com